Programming Note: We won’t be publishing as much in the off-season, but we will of course do some emergency posts on the latest devastating trade news.
If being a Chicago Sky fan were like dining at a fancy restaurant, the Townies would be demanding to speak to the manager right about now.
Like, what the hell is going on in here?
The service is slow, the ribs are hard, and we just traded away our beloved franchise player, Kahleah Copper
All is Lost
The Townies entered the WNBA off-season with cautious optimism for 2024. Even if we made no major additions, our solid core of Kahleah Copper, Marina Mabrey, and Elizabeth Williams would probably get us back in the playoffs, as long as we maintained a decent supporting cast.
But, if we added a premiere point guard or post player—such as Skylar Diggins-Smith, Nneka Ogwumike, or Natasha Cloud—suddenly we’d be back in contention for a Top Four finish.
As a fan, it's probably a bad idea to get your hopes up about free agents of such caliber, because your team probably isn’t going to get them, but the Townies couldn’t help being fooled by various crumbs of evidence.
It was reported that Diggins-Smith and Ogwumike were in talks with the Sky—Ogwumike even posted on Instagram about being in Chicago—and Cloud announced she wouldn’t be returning to her long-time team, the Mystics.
Then two Sky free agents—Courtney Williams and Alanna Smith—signed with Minnesota.
The Townies would miss Alanna, but this was more evidence that the Sky organization was creating cap space for a Big Dog!
And then, one by one, the Big Dogs signed elsewhere.
Diggins-Smith and Ogwumike signed with Seattle, and Cloud with Phoenix—two teams that, without a major acquisition, would’ve been fighting with the Sky to even get into the playoffs.
Now Seattle will be in title contention again, and honestly Phoenix might be too.
The real evidence: Phoenix and Seattle are perennial “destination” organizations for top players, while the Sky are not.
For any children under the age of seven reading this: this is like if you woke up Christmas morning to find your siblings unwrapping the BEST new toys and games, while you received socks and a bootleg version of Candyland.
For any adults reading this: this is like if your friends told you they were taking you to Mexico for your birthday but actually took you to a mediocre hotel in Galena and then robbed you.
So yeah, I had to switch up the analogy a bit to introduce a new, horrible development.
On Tuesday morning, as the Townies were coming to terms with another disappointing free agency period, trying to focus on the small joys, such as how everyone seems to like our new coach, Teresa Weatherspoon—we were abruptly notified that Kahleah Copper was leaving Chicago.
Yes, Kahleah Copper, three-time All-Star, 2021 Finals MVP, the one stud remaining from the 2021-2022 Golden Years.
Kahleah Copper, who signed a contract extension at the end of last season that was supposed to keep her here through 2025, who ownership has repeatedly called the “centerpiece” of the franchise.
Sky fans had even started referring to the city as Chi-KAH-go.
Without warning, Copper was shipped off to the Phoenix Mercury for a bunch of draft picks and some players that only our Lead Basketball Analyst has ever heard of.
So not only did the Sky lose the mini-game of 2024 free agency signings, we lost the Big Game of building a franchise around Copper.
Final Thoughts
Dark times are ahead for the Townies. At some point, we will have to accept that Kah is gone, and at some point after that, we will have to talk about what it means.
Why is this is happening? Who we can blame? What does the future of the team look like now?
We don’t know yet, because right now we are exploring wilder methods to process our grief:
Starting a GoFundMe to bribe Kah to come back
Leading a coup against the Sky organization
Moving to Seattle (Skylar + Space Needle)
Studying “contract law.” What was the point of Kah’s contract extension if we can just trade her away?
My biggest worry: The league itself is poised to make a huge jump, coming expansion teams and whatnot. If the Sky cannot get it together in terms of practice facilities and player development, this franchise will be left behind completely.
bruuuutaal 😭😭😭😭