Welcome to Sky Townies, a Chicago fan newsletter/burgeoning media empire.
We sit in Section 123 at Wintrust Arena—come say hi! You’ll recognize one Townie by her unusual passion for the T-Shirt and/or Tiny Ball toss, during which she won’t hesitate to knock over your kid. Just kidding. As coaches or former coaches, all three of us are very mindful of the youth.
Welcome Back
How are we doing Skytown??? My what an off-season it’s been, what with our entire team being disbanded and all. But hey, the Townies have come to terms with it and are looking forward to being able to relax a little bit this season.
Last season was so stressful. Our squad had the tools and talent to win the championship, but it was clear that, given our age, that group would only have one shot at it. That was exciting to watch, but it was also a lot of pressure.
I think this year will feel more open-ended. Consensus wisdom says that we’ll finish in the bottom-half of the league—the Townies will be satisfied with a .500 finish.
New Team, Still Weird Though
The Sky will be a weird team to watch again this year. Last year we were weird because all of our starters liked to score the exact same amount of points as each other, and the team insisted on every single game coming down to the buzzer. (Candace Parker’s presence also sort of made things weird with her celebrity status, ailing knees, legendary talent and lack of box-outs. Sorry, but we know you all were thinking the same thing).
This year our team will be weird because of well…who the hell is even on our team?????
The Answer to: “Who is on Our Team?”
As you can see, our team is basically brand new, with only one starter (K-Cop) and three bench players returning (our girl Dana Evans, Rebekah Gardner, and Ruthy Hebard).
I’m glad we scooped up point guard Courtney Williams from the Connecticut Sun, but honestly even that trade feels difficult to accept given how heated the Semi-Finals against the Sun were.
But the thing that will make us weirdest is our guard-post disparity. I think we actually have one of the most exciting guard trios in the WNBA: Courtney Williams, Marina Mabrey, and Kahleah Copper. Personally I’d rank that trio right below the Aces’ trio of Chelsea Gray, Kelsey Plum, Jackie Young. (Thoughts on that take?????) I expect Courtney, Marina and Kahleah to absolutely light it up this season.
On the other hand, I have literally not heard of most of our our post players and will be closing my eyes when we play Brittney Griner and/or any team with talent down low.
Q&A with the Townies’ Lead Basketball Analyst/Candace Sympathizer
Q: What are your feelings and expectations about this season?
Lead Basketball Analyst: My expectations are that we will see exciting and fast-paced basketball all season long. If we slow the game down, I think we will struggle. There are too many teams with dominant bigs and talent in their post players. Our style of play has to match our strength, which is in the speed and talent of our guards. Looking forward to watching how Kahleah and Courtney can gel, as well as seeing how Marina can stretch out the defense. I would be happy with a .500 season to be honest.*
Q: How will you feel upon seeing [the traitorous] Candace Parker show up at Wintrust in an Aces jersey? Same question for Sloot on the Liberty.
Lead Basketball Analyst: Upon seeing Candace, I am going to feel hurt. She only brought us two years in a Sky jersey, and I feel betrayed that she didn’t stick around for longer. Candace leaving for the Aces felt very “super-teamy” and calculated. I’ll probably still love watching her ball out though because it’s CANDACE.
Upon seeing Sloot, I will be sad but not hurt. She gave us 12 seasons in a Sky jersey and saw the team through the highs and the lows. I think the Liberty are going to be a fun team to watch and a fun match-up for the Sky with Sloot and Stef [Dolson] on the Liberty squad.
*I’ll note that our LBA’s take is pretty optimistic. When the Sky tweeted that photo of this year’s roster, the top comment was “We’re about to get cooked.” I sense that encapsulates the general sentiment from Sky fans, but we will report on fan morale more thoroughly from Wintrust Arena next Friday.
The Wintrust Arena Experience
Given that the Sky are no longer championship contenders, the fans will need to be kept happy with improvements to the Wintrust Arena experience. To measure this, the Townies picked out a few “Key Performance Indicators” (fancy business term) that we think will most impact fan morale.
Wintrust Arena Fan Morale “KPIs”
Time to hot dog from seat. This KPI measures how long it takes us to acquire a hot dog or whatever and then get back to our seat. One SHOULD NOT have to choose between a hot dog and an entire quarter of basketball. The Townies believe we must get this figure down to five minutes or below.
Length of bathroom line. (Self explanatory). Going to the bathroom at Wintrust should not be an O’Hare Airport style series of shocks about where the line even begins and how it could possibly be snaking back past the Dippin’ Dots cart. However, seeing as it is highly unlikely that Wintrust will build another bathroom, the only solution the Townies see is for Sky fans to drink less beer, which will require the Sky to play better than expected.
Dana Evans Playing Time. (Also self explanatory). You thought we’d let this one go? We will not. Get Dana in the game and keep her there. We admit that success on this KPI will challenge our proposed solution for KPI #2, given that we like to have a beer or two with our Dana Evans Playing Time.
Skytown, we are pumped to see you next Friday May 26th @ 7p.m. for the home opener against the Washington Mystics!!! We will also be planning some watch parties for our road games so keep your eyes peeled for that.
In the meantime, please let us now how you are feeling about this season! You can hit reply to this e-mail, or hit us up on Twitter (@sky_townies).
Let’s get it tonight against the Lynx!!!!